Donald the Dumb capitulated to the Speaker of the House, a woman. There will be a bipartisan committee to resolve the budget issue and address the wall obsession of our fake president. While I watched Donald the Dumb lecture America about his machismo and determination related to his wall, I had an eureka moment.

Eureka

To be clear, the above photograph is not me but Archimedes in the third century CE. Additionally, I didn’t say, as did Archimedes, “εὕρηκα, εὕρηκα.” I merely stated, “εὕρηκα” once. Archimedes repeated the term twice, since he was able to fathom that the volume of his bathwater arose proportionally and equal to the amount of what his body displaced. Once he realized his discovery, he ran approximately 26.219 miles, which is the distance of the Marathon, in the streets of Syracuse…naked. I was thinking of replicating Archimedes’ run by running to the office of Congressman Pete Visclosky in Merrillville and back to my home in Winfield, which is close to the distance of a Marathon. However, I looked at the weather forecasts for this Wednesday. Meteorologists predicted sunny weather but with temperatures ranging from -8 to -22 degrees. Even dressed in my parka, it would be a bit too chilly for me.

Therefore, I am merely going to share with Pete my eureka moment. He has helped me on my various trips to Asia. Recently, he was quite helpful with various matters with the American Embassy in Rangoon. The US still maintains the name of the old capital as Rangoon and not what locals now call Yangon. I need help from the embassy regarding my fund raising drive of $500,000 for laptops for two schools in Taunggyi, Myanmar.

Now, this is my eureka moment. I propose that I would go to Washington, DC and meet with the bipartisan and bicameral committee of Senate and the House dealing with the budget and the wall. I would be willing to tutor Donald the Dumb pro bono publico. My eureka moment involves a two-pronged approach. First, our fake president would attend my briefing consisting of the thumbnail history lesson regarding the Great Wall of China. Here is a synopsis of my history lesson.

• The Great Wall of China actually is not a single wall. In reality, it is about nine lesser walls with only a couple of them connected to each other.


The Map of the Great and Mini-Walls of China

• The Great Wall of China was started during the time period prior to the First Empire during what was called the Warring States period. That was followed by the First Empire’s Qin and Han Dynasty. This was followed by the Northern Wei Dynasty and the Northern Qi Dynasty. The Sui Dynasty was followed four centuries later by the Liao and Jin Dynasties. However, the most recent was the Ming Dynasty, which was built between 1368-1644 and is 3,728 miles long. That essentially is what we in the West think of as the Great Wall of China.
• There are about 10,000 watchtowers and beacon towers placed the length of the Great Wall. The watchtowers were designed so that the Chinese could watch for invaders from the north. The beacon towers were used to rely messages about the size of an invading army. This was done by setting beacon fires and firing salvos based upon the size of the army. That would be my briefing, which is basically ancient history.

My second prong is to recount the true story that involved three Chinese guys who actually walked the entire Great Wall.

The trekkers

Donald the Dumb would enjoy this educational moment, which would include a video. I could tell him that I saw the video on Fox and Friends. The video is of three Chinese trekkers: Yaohui Dong, Wu Deyu, and Zhang Yuanhua. Yaohui Dong, the organizer, was a writer who could see a part of the Great Wall from his home.

A eureka moment

One day, he also had his eureka moment. While starring at the wall, he decided that he would want to be the first person to have ever walked the length of the Great Wall. In that way, he could leave his footprint upon the wall.

In May 1984, Yaohui Dong, Wu Deyu, and Zhang Yuanhua began their journey at Laologtou. The Great Wall actually starts sixty-six feet into the Bohai Sea. The beginning of the wall is also called the Old Dragon’s Head due to it looking like a dragon drinking water.

The eastern terminus of the Great Wall of China

After nearly a year and a half, they finished in September 1985 at the remains of the wall in the west of China.

The western terminus of the Great Wall of China

They faced scorching heat and freezing snow in their often perilous march across the Great Wall. While the weather caused them problems, psychological issues like boredom were also stressors. Nonetheless, local villagers would feed them and provide water for them along their trek. In addition, the locals also assisted them, showing the adventurers how to climb some of the dangerous and decaying parts of the wall.

An old and worn section

Interestingly, those three valiant adventurers not only did what no one else had ever accomplished, but they also motivated the Chinese to begin restoring and protecting the Great Wall of China.

Now, this is the pinnacle of my briefing with the bipartisan and bicameral committee to create a budget and deal with Donald the Dumb’s wall. On the day after Valentine’s Day, Congress would pass a budget, which would include money for the Great Donald the Dumb Wall. It would start at the Gulf of Mexico, and, like the one in China, it would be built to look like a dragon drinking the water from the Gulf of Mexico. It would extend all the way to the Pacific Ocean. Our fake president would go down in annals of history as the first president to walk the Great Wall of China and have a wall named after him that stretched the entire southern border of the US.

Now, during his trek, which will get him out of the swamp in Washington for several years, Donald the Dumb might meet with his counterpart in China, Xi Jinping. In addition, he could have a summit with Kim Jong-un of N. Korea. Our fake president would surely busy himself tweeting at each of the beacon or watchtowers along the wall.

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