Roll Me Up - I Am Free to be Me at 73

Roll Me Up
I Am Free to be Me at 73

There I was last month sitting in front of my computer late at night writing about the Donald. Interestingly, it was the day after the third and final presidential debate. I noticed a laissez faire attitude that I had about dissing the Donald. I'll disagree with those on the political right, but I normally bridle my words and use a regular, logical debate methodology wanting to make my case. Merely, offending someone doesn't benefit me. However, after listening to the Donald pontificating about things about which he is ignorant, I was getting tired listening and watching him.

So, this essay in my unbridled response to the Donald. I watched him at the beginning of the debate. The Donald stood close to the microphone like a cobra ready to bounce at its prey. Nevertheless, he actually stopped himself from interrupting her. It was obvious that he knew that interrupting a person wasn't what an adult should do. He did bridle his big mouth a couple of times. Then off he went with interrupting and saying, "Wrong." The Donald is a grown man and was acting like a spoiled three-year-old. He is a bombastic blowhard who can't control himself.

Therefore, I was writing about the Donald while observing my personal attitude toward this village idiot. I paused, put my feet up on my desk, leaned back, and pondered. I thought about it while I was venting. Then I remembered Jason, the father of my two grandsons, Jack and Owen, emailing me an article about Graham Nash, which he read in Rolling Stone. I pondered that essay and did the same thing...pondered it with my feet on my desk. The pondering result was essay, I Am Free To Be Me.

While still pensively pondering about the Donald, I happened to notice the music in background. It was Willie Nelson singing Roll Me Up.

Roll me up and smoke me when I die
And if anyone don't like it, just look 'em in the eye
I didn't come here, and I ain't leavin'
So don't sit around and cry
Just roll me up and smoke me when I die.

Now, you won't see no sad and teary eyes
When I get my wings and it's my time to fly
Call my friends and tell 'em
There's a party, come on by
Now just roll me up and smoke me when I die.

Roll me up and smoke me when I die
And if anyone don't like it, just look 'em in the eye
I didn't come here, and I ain't leavin'
So don't sit around and cry
Just roll me up and smoke me when I die.

Hey, take me out and build a roaring fire
Roll me in the flames for about an hour
Then take me out and twist me up
And point me towards the sky
And roll me up and smoke me when I die.

Roll me up and smoke me when I die
And if anyone don't like it, just look 'em in the eye
I didn't come here, and I ain't leavin'
So don't sit around and cry
Just roll me up and smoke me when I die.
Just roll me up and smoke me when I die.

It was as if Nelson was singing to me personally. I was waiting for him to sing,

Yo, Campbell, I am singing to you
And if anyone don't like it, just look 'em in the eye
I didn't come here, and I ain't leavin'
So don't sit around and cry

Description: Image result for willie nelson roll me up and smoke me when i die

"Yo, Campbell, I'm singing to you...."

Then my pondering took me back to a dinner that I had with Mike Schmitt who sent me Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. Things started to fall into place for me intellectually. If you haven't done the dance with death, it will seem counterintuitive to state that dancing with death causes one to come alive. I would have thought the same thing had I not done the dance...twice.

Realizing that truism is strangely liberating. I was free to live. In fact, unless you accept that you have the gift of life, you will die inside while you walk through life thinking you are alive.

George Burns and I share the same birthday, January 20. His goal in life was to reach his 100th birthday, which he did. Since we share the same birthday, I share with him the quest of reaching my 100th birthday. I have twenty-six years and two months to reach my goal. That goal has been something that I have had for decades. However, having done the dance twice, you might not wish to put too much of your money on my reaching that goal.

A more realistic goal can be determined by using the Social Security's Life Expectancy Calculator. This is their prediction of my time left.

I have written many of articles about my longevity and my previous dances. However, having the government run the figures for me is haunting. Okay, it is a bit gut wrenching and sobering. At one level, it is far more than a slap in the face. However, at another level, Social Security's slap is invigorating. Regardless whether I have twenty-six or a dozen years still remaining, I can't waste time...whatever time that might be.

Additionally, the issue regarding life expectancy is the issue of my legacy. How will my family and friends remember me? The legacy is far more than dollars or things. When they reflect upon me years after I am gone, what will they say drove me. Why did I get up in the morning? What did I do to help them and the world? It won't be that I wanted to sit around and do nothing. I am free to be me, which means that I have work to do for them and for the world. Of all the quests in my life that drive me and about which I am wired, the most important thing that I want to do is to talk with Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, the Lady. That means that I need to be to on the road again. I want to return to Myanmar (Burma). I want to see Tin again, who was one my tour guides. I want to spend time with Moh Moh and her family. I want to play Scrabble again with Ti Ti. I want to talk with some of the 88-Generation that I met three years ago. I have things to do and a reason for living. That is my legacy that I will leave the world.

And what is the Donald's legacy? How will his family and the rest of the world remember him? His is surely working at branding the legacy of being the village idiot.