At dinner a couple weeks ago, I had a conversation with Ayanna (Squirt is my nickname for her) about what I have experienced in the past couple years, especially since my return from Myanmar (Burma). I verbalized that the pieces of the puzzle of my life are coming together. I asked Ayanna whether she could compare me today with what she remembered two to three years ago. What, if any, were the differences?

Interestingly since 2008, when I had a prostatectomy and fell off a ladder resulting in a traumatic brain injury, I began to see the world differently. In those years since addressing those medical issues successfully, I started to realign my Weltanschauung (worldview). My view of life radically changed but did not do so quickly. It was a slow and ongoing process. However, a month in Myanmar was quick and began to force a more rapid rearrangement of my life.

Several days after returning to the States from Myanmar, I had a routine medical checkup with Dr. Marchand, my cardiologist. He checked my heart and all was well. He asked me whether I had any questions, which I did. I wanted to know what had happened in Myanmar that changed my Weltanschauung so much. Dr. Marchand paused, looked me directly in the eye, and said, "You have seen the light." Talk about an excellent diagnosis!

Since my appointment in early January of 2014 with Dr. Marchand, my world continued to change, but I was able quickly to put the various pieces of my life's puzzle together. No longer was I just excited about things; I saw how various things were lining up. Back in the 60s and the civil rights movement, I thought that I was driven. However, in comparison with today those days decades ago pale in comparison. I have a grasp upon my new experiential reality.

Having gotten all my cards face-up on the table or rather your computer monitor, I wanted to do some outside analysis of my journey over the past handful of years. What do people who know me feel or see in me that is different from before? I feel it but wonder about how my family or friends see the changes in me.

After dinner, Squirt and I spent an hour discussing what I have experienced, but I wanted her spin on what she has seen. This is an outline of what she sees.

1. You seem that your life has more direction.
2. You are more determined.
3. Life's fake fog is lifting.
4. You are more present and discovering yourself.
5. You are more emotionally involved with life.
6. You have validated yourself.

Later that evening, I went to my computer and started this essay. What entered my mind was something that I memorized over a half-century ago from Silas Marner.

Silas and Eppie

While Squirt is no longer as young as Eppie, George Eliot was correct about what happened to Silas Marner:

Darkest Before Dawn

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The Last Lecture

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Dancing with Death

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"The Hand May Be a Little Child's"

Visit the "The Hand May Be a Little Child's" page to read more about this topic.

10/02/15