Music Explains Me

Music Explains Me
Music Drives Me

I turned 80 on January 20^th. There are several fascinating things related to my birthday several weeks ago. The obvious one is that I have made it this far. Interestingly, Social Security will predict your life expectancy. It is their polite way of telling you that your clock is ticking.

According to their actuarial tables, I will see my 88^th birthday. However, Social Security doesn’t know that in 2008, I had two dances with death. One dance resulted from metastatic prostate cancer, and the other was a subdural hematoma, a medical term. In lay terms, I fell off a ladder and cracked my head on a cinderblock retaining wall.

Beyond the two dances, my 80^th birthday was far more transformative than turning 79. We all have critically important birthdays: becoming a teenager, our 21^st birthday, and reaching 65. Additionally, each decade seems an important milestone.

Therefore, morphing my near-death experiences with becoming an octogenarian turning 80 raised all sorts of emotional issues for me. The best way that I can explain my new Weltanschauung is in three songs, Alfie, My Way, and One Moment in Time.

I would like you to listen to the song Alfie.

What’s it all about Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live

What’s it all about
When you sort it out, Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?

And if, if only fools are kind, Alfie
Then I guess it is wise to be cruel
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie
What will you lend on an old golden rule?

As sure as I believe there’s a heaven above
Alfie, I know there’s something much more
Something even non-believers can believe in

I believe in love, Alfie
Without true love we just exist, Alfie
Until you find the love you’ve missed
You’re nothing, Alfie

When you walk let your heart lead the way

And you’ll find love any day Alfie, Alfie

Alfie raises the central question of life. As we journey down our yellow brick roads of life, does our time here have a purpose beyond living for ourselves?

My next informative song is My Way. It addressed our choices between being told by someone else how to live one’s life or deciding for ourselves what is essential. The lyrics push the listener to be honest about the highway one decides upon and then go for it. It recognizes that we will all make mistakes. Recognize our mistakes, learn from them, and continue on in your life.

My Way
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, for which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

My way puts our success or failure upon our shoulders. Hence, we are to fight the good fight. We are encouraged to decide what is important and fight for it. Persevere, but we should carry on.

Finally, the last of the trilogy of songs is One Moment in Time.

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I’m only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I want one moment in time
When I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I’ve lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I’ve laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
When I’m more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I’m racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

You’re a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

This song morphs its predecessors together for me. I am severely limited in the number of moments that I still possess. I wished Moh Moh a happy birthday at the beginning of this week. In that essay, I included this photo of Inle Lake.

Inle Lake

I love the lake and have been there many times on my three trips to visit my family in Myanmar. I don’t know how many times I will see them again. How many more trips to the lake do I have?

I met my great-granddaughter, A Ngal Lay, on my last trip to her village at Set Set Yo. Than, my artist friend, painted this picture of the two of us. The painting hangs in her home in Myanmar. How many moments in time will I have with her?

Do you see that I am aware that my clock is ticking? I am not immortal. However, there are still things that I can still do. I have my family, whom I will continue to help as they live in troubling times. And then there is Ti Ti. This photo is of Ti Ti and A Ngal Lay.

Ti Ti is still trying to get her student visa to attend the college where I teach and live in my home. She took an online class from me last semester. Access to electricity and the Internet was so limited that Ti Ti had only access to the Internet and electricity for three or four hours a day, and she still aced the class. This semester, she is taking an English composition class from another professor.

In The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh searched for immortality and realized it wasn’t possible. He concluded, “Forget death and seek life.” I got his message. In one of the last moments of time in my life, I will help Ti Ti get her student visa. I swear that I won’t fail my granddaughter.

After reading this essay, what would you do if our roles were reversed? Imagine for a moment that Ti Ti was your granddaughter, and part of your family lived in Myanmar? Would you be driven? Now, you grasp what drives this old grandfather.

This is an addendum. Who benefits when you reach out to another person in the grand scheme of things? This is a hint; you benefit as much as the person you assist. This is one of my mantras. It is in giving that we get.

On Seeing the Light