Ginger, My Intelligent Dog…

Ginger, My Intelligent Dog…
And Aerodynamics

While I was making dinner for Ginger and myself, she wasn’t watching me in the kitchen, which is her normal modus operandi. I couldn’t imagine her not patiently watching me as I prepared her dinner of dog food and a teaspoon of tuna mixed into it. I called to Ginger only to get this response from her, “I’ll be there in a couple of minutes….”

This wasn’t a normal response Ginger. Therefore, I went to my office and found her busy at my computer. I inquired about what she was doing.

“Hey, I am trying to figure out the aerodynamics of reindeer.”

Ginger is smart, but I couldn’t imagine that she had any interest in reindeer let alone their aerodynamics. So, I asked her what was up, which began a long monologue about her watching a YouTube video about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

“See, you and I watched the video of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer a week or so ago. Since then, I have pondered about the aerodynamics issue as it relates to reindeer. I just couldn’t imagine that they could fly. The more that I pondered and wondered, the more I started to think. If reindeers could fly, perhaps, an Irish Setter, like me, could do the same. Therefore, I first read the poem about the flying reindeer.”

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight

Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer
You’ll go down in history

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
Had a very shiny nose (like a lightbulb)
And if you ever saw it (saw it)
You would even say it glows (like a lightbulb)
All of the other reindeer (reindeer)
Used to laugh and call him names (ha ha ha)
They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
Join in any reindeer games (like hopscotch)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say (ho ho ho)
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight

Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him)
As they shouted out with glee (yippee)
Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer (reindeer)
You’ll go down in history (woohoo)
You’ll go down in history

“After that, I watched a cute computerization of Santa and the reindeer delivering toys to a family amid a snowy night. It was cute, but I wish that I could fly like Dasher or Dancer.

“What troubled me was that I didn’t find any clues to their flying. What I found was that Rudolph was belittled by the other reindeer. They kept him out of their inner circle of Santa’s reindeers. They treated Rudolph kind of like how Donald the Dumb treats everyone except for his family members.

“That being said, I believe the central issue about the reindeer isn’t bullying but aerodynamics. The best that I can determine is that the antler on the reindeer caused them to fly.”

After Ginger’s long monologue, I was able to get a word in edgewise. I merely suggested that after dinner that we go out shopping for some reindeer antlers, for Ginger. Then we could see if she could fly like Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer. However, early the next morning, Ginger couldn’t fly.

Ginger wasn’t able to replicate reindeer flying.

These reindeer flew

Ginger seemed distort, and I attempted to comfort her. I suggested that it wasn’t snowing, which could be one of the reasons for her not being aerodynamic. I am not sure that comforted Ginger.

My disappointed Irish Setter merely said, “Maybe next year. In the meantime, let’s just walk around the lake.”