Do Not Going Gently Into That Good Night

Do Not Going Gently Into That Good Night
I Will Rage

This is one of my essays that I start with the phrase, “I want to get all my cards on the table….” I have mentioned many times about having to memorize poetry and prose in high school English classes. I hated memorizing but after leaving high school and throughout my life, I have benefited from that once hated requirement. Much of my Weltanschauung regarding life can be seen by the poetry and prose that I still can recall from a half century ago.

One of the poems that I memorized was by Dylan Thomas, Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night. I memorized that poem and seemed to enjoy what Thomas was saying poetically. Rebelling was what teenagers are into and the poem seemed to resonate within me…when I was 18.

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Nonetheless, in my twilight time remaining at the other end of life, I get Thomas’ poem now. The two things that awoke me to living life were my two dances with death. Once I got those pieces of my puzzle of life together, I realized that I am a new person. I realize that my death is closer than it was at 18…much closer.

Now, some have done the dance…successfully and merely moved on, which for me negates their success. The realization of our mortality allows us to either survive but not change our lives, or it forces us to awake and act. At this point in my life, the pieces are all coming together. Teddy Roosevelt was dealing this rage in Man in the Arena.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Roosevelt was presently precisely what Thomas saw. Either you live a life “daring greatly”/“rage against the dying of the light” or you will be “with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat”/or they “learn, too late, they grieved it on its way.” Now, daring greatly or raging does not assure success. Nevertheless, not daring and raging does assure failure.

My clock is ticking and so is yours. We can’t guarantee success at our labors, nor can we guarantee waking up tomorrow morning. Dylan Thomas died at the age of 39. I can’t speak for you, but that realization of how much time that remains for me in this world motivates me. I may fail at many of my quests. George Eliot said, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” However, it will be too late when we are on our death beds then wishing that we tried harder is a sad regret, but it is too late.

The single realization of my finiteness is a blessing. It forces me to engage in the issues that I think are important. Now, to be honest with you, I have a long, long list of things that I want to accomplish before the lights go out for me. Here are the critical and immediate ones for me. I want to interview Aung San Suu Kyi, which is the most important thing that I hope to accomplish in my entire life. I want Donald the Dumb to resign or be impeached. I want to work toward improving issues like civil rights, feminism, and the LGBT community. I want to help my children and grandchildren. However, this is especially true with my grandchildren: Ayanna, Ti Ti, Jack, and Owen. I want to continue to teach student at the college level. I want to travel. And finally, I want to take care of Ginger.

Finally, this was Dylan Thomas’ office.