Deep State - Bob Woodward and Me

Deep State
Bob Woodward and Me

There I was one day recently, which was like every day for me: teaching, writing, and taking care of Ginger, my 75-pound Irish Setter. However, late that evening, three guys came to my front door, drugged me, and put me in the trunk of their car. I woke up to find myself tied up in the trunk of a car driving somewhere. There wasn’t anything that I could do than to doze off for a very long drive. Finally, they stopped and took me into a building of some sort. They ushered me into what looked like a hotel room. They put a breathing device on me, from which they added some sort of sedative, which caused me to sleep for a number of hours. When I woke up, I had all sorts of wires connected to me. There was someone asking me all sorts of questions about my involvement in the Deep State.

My response was disbelief. I don’t have the time to be involved in some shady, clandestine project, which attempts to control the federal government…so it is claimed. Apparently, my interrogator believed that I was attempting to help the Deep State to control Donald the Dumb and his governmental cronies…many of whom have been indicted or are in jail already.

My interrogator threatened to shock me until I revealed my involvement in this Deep State conspiracy. I repeated that I was not involved in that clandestine group. However, another person entered the room, and they discussed my situation with each other. The second person suggested that they record what was going on in my brain electronically to determine how much I knew and/or was hiding.

For several hours of recording my brain waves, they seemed satisfied and turned out the lights. By that time, I was so tired that I fell asleep without much effort.

It seemed like several hours later that I woke up to find Bob Woodward, the Pulitzer Prize reporter for The Washington Post, across from me in a bed with a breathing device and wires connected to him just like I was. To be honest with you, I was absolutely surprised that he had been kidnapped. After getting over my initial shock, Bob and I began talking about why we had been kidnapped. Apparently, Bob knows that Donald the Dumb was fearful of the Deep State. My retort was that we are both 75, and neither of us were planning to control the government from the shadows.

Nonetheless, Bob talked about his interviewing many people connected to the Trump administration. Additionally, he had hundreds of hours of recordings with these Trump administration informants in the White House.

Interestingly, I told him that I had ordered his new book, Fear, from Amazon several weeks ago. Again, perhaps, my support of Amazon would cause Donald the Dumb to suspect me as a member of the Deep State.

Bob explained that he got the title for his book coming out next month based upon something that Donald the Dumb said during an interview that he and Robert Costa had with Trump some time ago. Trump said, “Real power is, I don't even want to use the word, fear.”

I asked Bob whether Donald the Dumb’s kidnapping was in response to the book. Besides, I can’t imagine Donald the Dumb reading a book. Perhaps, some staff member had gotten a copy prior to the regular release of the book and told Trump the main outline of the book.

Also, I mentioned that Trump has related something that Al Capone said to one of his nephews, “It is upon fear…that I built up my organization.” Again, Donald the Dumb surely didn’t read any of the books about Capone by writers like Bair, Kobler, or Bergreen.

In addition, I told Bob that I had read an article in The New Yorker about the Deep State conspiracy. It seemed to me that Donald the Dumb morphed the Deep State from a general political paranormal project to a personal one against him, our Commander in Tweet.

Our father protector

During several hours of talking, Bob looked out a window in the room and said that we were being held at Trump’s golf course at Bedminster, NJ. I told Bob that I had no idea where we were. However, if it was a golf course, I had an idea of how we could escape.

For the next half hour, Bob and I talked about my idea. My suggestion was quite simple. When an interrogator returned to question us, one of us could act sick. When the person attempted to attend to one of us, the other could jump him. Then we could force him to take us to the pro shop where we could get a golf cart.Our threesome would get a cart and escape with our interrogator as our hostage. It could be like Steve McQueen’s film, The Great Escape but with a golf cart and not a motorcycle.

Our great escape

Okay. My story was fake news. I wasn’t kidnapped along with Bob Woodward. Nonetheless, The Washington Post came out with its most recent totals of false or misleading statements made by our Commander in Tweet. In his first 558 days, the total was 4,229. Interestingly, none of them has he admitted to or corrected. I told you about my fake news in the time that it took me to start a new paragraph. My fake news contains more true facts than any of our fake president’s fake news contains.

However, I will be sure when going to my front door in the future to do so with Ginger, my Irish Setter protector dog at my side.