A Date and Someone Who Has Done the Dance
Several weeks ago, Kristin and Ayanna were over for dinner. During dinner, I told them about two unresolved and nagging issues in my life. Both of them related to taking a person out for dinner. One person would be a date. At 73, going out on a date seems a bit anachronistic. The other person with whom I would like to have dinner is a person who has danced with death. Allow me to discuss each with you, because you might be able to help me out.
The date issue. I told my daughter and granddaughter about one of my neighbors who knew that I had gotten a new computer. I told him that I had Windows 10 and wasn't able to find some things. I asked him whether he had Windows 10. He said no, but it was not a big deal; he'd show me. Well, he did show me around Windows 10 somewhat. However, while messing with the computer, he asked about whether I had started dating after getting a divorce many months ago. I told him that I hadn't and at my age dating seems so different than it was years ago.
Again, his retort was that that was not a big deal. He told me to join one of the dating sites, to which I said that I would not go down that road. He replied that my reluctance showed that I was living in a former time, a time long gone by. We went back and forth for fifteen minutes. Finally, to avoid the issue any further, I told him that I needed to make lunch for the two of us. I told him that he could tweak the computer while I made my bacon and eggs on toasted cinnamon and raisin bagels. We both went back to work: one on the computer and the other in the kitchen. I brought our lunch down twenty minutes later, and we shot the breeze for another half hour. Finally, he left, and I went back to work.
However, several hours later, I started to get emails with links to dating services that contained a photo of me. I forwarded them to my friend with the message in the email, "Yo, danke." He wrote back that since I wasn't acting, he would.
My friend's signing me up for a couple dating sites happened several months ago. Since then, I get emails from the two sites all the time. The sites have a picture of me, which my friend took from my site. This is a photo someone took after an interview with Jerome McDonnell at the NPR station in Chicago.
Since it was the best photo of me, I have merely resized it. I use for things like Facebook and other sites that need a photo of me. My friend knew that and sent it to the dating sites.
Under my photo on the email is a caption about "13% of my profile is complete." This means that all they have about me is my photo. While I haven't completed my profile and won't, I have looked at the women who have signed up.
Apparently, anyone on the sites has to answer a dozen questions and write a couple sentences about themselves. One of the questions is about where the person is politically. The vast majority of the females are conservative. Although, I have noticed two or three are middle of the road. That is a stopper for me. I'm a liberal. While I want to talk over dinner, I don't want to debate over a meal.
The other issue is that these two sites have a section at the end of the profile where the gal writes about herself. Apparently, the site asks for several short paragraphs to describe themselves. Now, I have written a newspaper column for over a dozen years, and I have written articles for twice that timespan for my website. Nonetheless, I cannot write an advertisement about who I am. That seems like hubris or flaunting oneself.
The last time that I got my long brown hair trimmed, I mentioned these dating sites to my beautician, Kelly. She is the owner of Fast Eddie's on US 30 in Merrillville, IN. Kelly knows me and said that she will keep her eyes out for possible dates for me. That gave me an idea. Why not have my regular readers suggest names to me? Therefore, if you know someone around retirement age, send me that person's email address. Or even better, send her a link to my website. Let her determine whether some guy who looks like he is in his mid-40s interests her.
If you are hesitant regarding doing me a favor, go get your haircut by Kelly. During your coiffure, ask her about me. Kelly has known me for several years. I'm serious about that. Get a great cut and let her answer any questions you might have regarding me. Fast Eddie's number is (219) 736-7749.
Now, the other dinner date I would like to have, is with someone who has done the dance with death. I did the dance and it was the most transformative event in my life. That is not an exaggeration. Once I watched Randy Pausch's Last Lecture, my world radically changed. Since my seeing the light and understanding it, I have written about others that have done the dance in addition to Randy Pausch. Look through the list: John Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, Miguel Cervantes, Kurt Vonnegut, Steve Jobs, Alan Seeger, John Donne, Oliver Sacks, Saul Alinsky, Henry David Thoreau, Mahatma Gandhi, Alexander the Great, Professor Keating, William Forrester, Ebenezer Scrooge, Billy Pilgrim, and Don Quixote.
I have two issues that relate to my list. The first is that I cannot talk with any of them, since all of them are dead. I want to exchange ideas with someone who has done the dance. Each of us might have missed understanding things, and the other person can assist the other to garner a clearer understanding regarding the dance. I need to bounce off ideas with someone else. Besides, I can add that person to my growing list of fellow dancers. You can help me with names of people that you know that have done the dance.
The other issue is that all of the dancers are males. How can it be that all the people that I know who have been dancers are men? That perplexes me. I have been a feminist for decades. I'd be willing to bet that, as a male, I am more into feminism than most women. Therefore, not having a large number of female dancers rattles me.
Finally, if you know of a female that has done the dance and is also looking for a dinner date, we could double-up our agendas over dinner. Therefore, I need your help, because I will not use the dating sites.
Visit the The Last Lecture page to read more about this topic.
Visit the Dancing with Death page to read more about this topic.
Visit the My Hauntings page to read more about this topic.
Visit the Best and Worst of Times page to read more about this topic.