CELL PHONE DANGER

I'm glad that we are Americans citizen and not British subjects. It is apparent to me that our American Revolution in 1776 was entirely warranted. Those early patriots fought for personal freedom from the Crown meddling in their lives. Had the Revolution not occurred, those Brits would have continued their royal meddling throughout our nation's history.

This meddling knack wasn't limited to Colonial times. Even today, the British people always find a way of getting into serious as well as nonsensical predicaments due to this attitude . Generations after the British Empire unceremoniously ended, they invaded the Falkland Islands. They have this attitude deeply seeded in their royal psyches'. They ran the Empire thinking that they can run things better than anybody else. However, history is replete with examples proving that they can't. Mad Cow disease is hardly an example of their good management or vigilance. You will recall that I broke the news to you about Mad Cow disease in April of 1996. Finally, three and a half years of meddling, they seem to have finally handled the problem with tainted meat.

Now, lest you think that I am Brit-bashing, I am not. My family came from that anachronistic island albeit the most northern part of the island-Scotland. I'm merely concerned that they interfere where they shouldn't and more often than not, their meddling makes matters worse.

Having sounded the alarm about Mad Cow Disease over three years ago, I wish to use this column again as a clarion-call to warn my readers that the British are coming again-to take over our country. We need not worry about an invasion from across the sea as they attempted in 1776 and 1812. They learned their lesson of not overtly invading America again. This present-day invasion comes to us through Wall Street. The British plan is to quietly take control of American corporations. Once they gain control of American companies, they then start to control our freedoms.

Case in point: Recently, the British took over an American petroleum company. Most Americans did not take much note of this corporate acquisition. This is part of their master plan. However, once they solidified their position, then they began to curtail our freedoms. The Brits are trying to restrict the use of our cell phones at gasoline service stations. If they have their way, we won't be able to use our cell phones while pumping their bloody British petrol. They say that it is because they are afraid that cell phone might emit a spark that may cause an explosion. Now, I ask you: does that make any sense? The same people that had to kill all the cows on that island empire to manage Mad Cow Disease want to tell us how to pump gas. Its bad enough that we have to deal with the various OSHA regulations let alone have to deal with a foreign country attempting more of the same thing.

I have sources in that island nation who tell me that the Brits have their imperial eyes on jelly and preserve industry. They want to limit our choices to just one option-orange marmalade. Having lived in the UK for a year, you don't want to start every day with marmalade. They already have a head start on the marmalade putsch; they got us eating English muffins.

My sources have also disclosed the most disturbing issue. They claim that the British are also getting ready to take over a leading American newspaper. I have already spoken to Bill Shaw about this. I would hate to think that would take over the Telegraph and turn it into a tabloid. Can you imagine the changes including the name of the paper. Wireless. My suggestion is to just say no to the Brits before it is too late.

It won't be long before we celebrate the last Thanksgiving of the millennium. We have a great deal for which to be grateful. We live in a country that is free and provide for each of us with the opportunity to follow our dreams. We can express ourselves in the ballot box, get an education, and raise our families wherever we wish. We have enjoyed nearly a decade of economic prosperity as we close out this last decade of the 20th century. While life isn't perfect, America provides for us opportunities unrivaled by any other country in our world today.

This article first appeared in the Dixon Telegraph on November 18, 1999.